Flight of Stupidity
by Kandros Fir
Summary: Every author, no matter how serious, has occasionally the right to kick back, and set their insanity loose upon the world. Or in other words, all aboard the Crack ship, we may not have canon, but we can sure take you for a ride! In which a semi respectable Jerza author with no business writing Nalu does so with terrifying results


High above the Fairy Tail world, an author named Kandros Fir sat, side to side with his Plot Bunny on the right shoulder and a little plushy doll of a goblin with a dog like face and purple fur named Zorbak sat on his left. He was a semi-respectable Jerza author who had decided to get in on the all popular NaLu bandwagon, on which he had no business being. He thought they were too clichéd a couple.

(a)Natsu was the **FIRST** boy she met in the manga Fairy Tail

(b)He has rescued her the most of all her guild mates

(c)He is a dense idiot, almost on the level of harem genre protagonists

(d)Yeah, the list goes on.

But of course every author is entitled to flights of whimsy, it is what great stories are made of. However the way this author went about it was literally a slap in the face to every stride that had been made to diversity in the NaLu fandom.

"Okay, so we are going to have Lucy leave the guild because she is forgotten by everybody because of Lisanna."

"I object," shouted the plot bunny, "On the grounds that this is too illogical. People have known Lucy longer than Lisanna; Lisanna is most definitely not evil, after all only the good girls lose their clothes in Fairy Tails, the bad ones dress like dominatrixes, and the guild is not full of people who are so callous!"

"I object," yelled Zorbak, "on the grounds that having Lisanna be a bitch would take away from all the other great ebil villains who could be used in her place."

It's cute that you guys think that this is a democracy or that I care what you think, oh and Zorbak its evil, not ebil."

"No ebil is that level beyond evil, reserved for the likes of Erza Knightwalker and King Faust whose level of dickery cannot be described by the mere term of evil"

"Anyway, We'll have everybody ignore Lucy for let's say, a year? And have Lucy say nothing, because she never expresses her feelings."

Both the plot bunny and Zorback looked at their author Kandros with a mixture of fear and apprehension at what horrors he would unleash.

"Genius, genius. Now we must give her a place to go to and get stronger after she utters the classic vow of revenge against Lisanna and the rest of the guild for acting like cartoon cut out assholes instead of the way they actually are. Sabertooth maybe or Crime Sorcerie?"

"Yes definitely Crime Sorcerie, so that Lucy can definitely make Natsu jealous with Jellal, ignoring the fact that he is totally devoted to Erza and most definitely not into relationships with those in the light."

Right now Kandros was in one of his famous mad ravings and there really is no point in separating paragraphs because this is a cliched NaLu fic, even though the trend it is parodying is dead! For those of you who are wondering who I am, I am Kandros alter ego in the real world A … What did you really think I was going to give you my name on the internet?

Anyways after this Kandros goes out and writes a fic where Lucy is marginalized by her guild and ignored because Lisanna is so awesome and Lucy is so weak, though if they really cared about such things as strength they would have kicked her out a long time ago. Perhaps they kept her on for her boobs? Lucy goes to Crime Sorcerie to train with Jellal, jerks around with his feelings, then goes back to Natsu as soon as he realizes that he was being a dick which should not have taken him so long to realize! And in the end everyone involved in story comes out looking like a massive douche, Lucy included, except for perhaps Jellal because I am a rabid fanboy and is that him over there will you sign my as- I mean my abdomen?

This story has been shut down due to the author's break down in to screaming hysterics.

A/N: No offense intended to anybody and I am aware that I am likely beating a dead horse. It is school AU's with Natsu and Lucy that are to watch out for now.


End file.
